An Introduction to Malaysian Culture
Malaysia a country in South East Asia is made up of two parts , East Malaysia on Borneo island and West Malaysia a peninsula with neighbours Thailand in the north and Singapore to the south. Surrounded by the Indian ocean , the country has abundance from the sea as well as a rich equatorial jungle. Let’s talk about the Malaysian culture.
The country is made up of multi-racial , multi-religious mixed pot of people. The result is a society, uniquely rich in culture and tradition living and working together in a mostly modernized country.
Malaysia acknowledges the three main races that make up its majority, Malays, Chinese and Indians and have public holidays to celebrate the biggest traditional celebrations of the 3 main races. If you have a chance to participate in the celebrations, count yourself lucky indeed.
Languages in Malaysia
In general the people of Malaysia are able to communicate in English. In individual households people speak either Malay, Tamil, Mandarin, Cantonese, English, Hockkien, Teochew, Hakka and the list goes on and on.
When Malaysians get together we speak “Manglish” , a mixture of several languages. Manglish reflects the Malaysian people and the culture. You can often hear ‘lah’ added to the end of the sentence, also ‘meh’ and ‘ah’ added to questions. This softens the request and the sentence itself.
Religions in Malaysia
As a multi-religious country , Malaysians grow up being mindful and respectful of each different religions. There are the majority Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist, Taoists, Catholics, Protestants. We are particularly happy to be celebrating each other’s religious holidays. It means a free day and we are happy to be invited to our friend’s open houses to celebrate together with them.
Muslims consume only “halal” food which means you should not invite Muslims to an eating place which is non-halal. Buddhists and Hindus are known to not consume beef.
Places of Worship in Malaysia
If you get a chance to enter some places of worship open to the public , do observe the normal etiquettes –
1. Men – Don’t go in with a bikini or the 70’s short and tight shorts – besides getting a lot of stares and dropped jaws , its just plain inappropriate. Covered shoulders and long pants or skirt are better suited. For mosques its also good not to have figure hugging attire.
2. Regardless if your feet smells like a fish market or not, shoes are normally required to be removed for mosques and temples.
3. Treat as you would a library , quiet in places of worship. No one needs a distraction when trying to pray.
4. There are plenty of places to eat and drink in Malaysia – no need to eat your char koay teow or slurp Kopi peng in religious places.
5. If a place allows photography – try not to use flash and disable the shutter sound from the camera.
Appropriate Dressing in Malaysia
Malaysia is blessed with having summer all year-round. This does not mean that people hang around with bikini and skimpy clothing. On the contrary while sleeveless blouses and mini skirts are commonly worn , showing too much leg and cleavage will earn you a lot of stares . The women will secretly hate you and the men will want to ogle but would not dare to. Don’t put people in a dilemma just wear sensible clothing.
In offices or when on government business, it is unacceptable to appear in shorts and slippers which are considered too casual and disrespectful of work places. On the safe side, jeans , collared t-shirt and sport shoes are the best bets.
Malaysia is surrounded by water – there will be days at the beach. So is wearing a bikini a good idea ?
Within the hotel pool where many people are foreign , it is common.
On Beaches and local water parks where the locals go with their families , it is more appropriate to wear a decent one-piece , as the locals will often go into the water fully clothed.
Anyway, Malaysia is not a good place to even bring a bikini. With so much delicious food you are expected to gain pounds and you might come to regret bringing it.
Public Displays of Affection in Malaysia
Most of Asia is modest and Malaysia is no exception. We are not very comfortable with openly kissing or making out in public. People think there is a private place for that. In public its acceptable to hold hands and hug with hands on each other’s waist.
Censorship in Malaysia
So you are at the cinema or watching TV and a highly anticipated love scene is coming up and then with no warning it jumps to the next scene. Such is the censorship in Malaysia , nudity, sex, foul language, violence are cut out by the censors. If you want to watch the movie in its entirety try streaming or DVDs instead.
Addressing a Malaysian
It gets confusing with the multi-ethnicity that is Malaysia. Rule of thumb is to enquire how the individual would like to be addressed. Likewise if you are introducing yourself , mention how you would like to be addressed.
1. Chinese have commonly 3 worded names (Family Name and two worded personal names) example Tan Ai Lean. You would address her as Miss Tan or Ai Lean if you know her personally.
2. Malays have a given name followed by bin (son of) or binti (daughter of). The name that comes after bin or binti is often the father’s name. If you accidentally mix the order of names up – you will get a “You call my father for what , ah ?”
3. Indians similarly have a given name followed by the name of their father. Sometimes you will see a/l (means anak lelaki or son of) or a/p (means anak perempuan or daughter of) example Geetha a/p Govindasamy (Geetha daughter of Govindasamy)
Don’t be surprised if when you ask Miss Tan Ai Lean how she would like to be addressed, she says ‘Just call me Anne’ … i know (confusing…)
Greeting a Malaysian
When greeting a Muslim of the opposite sex, let them take the lead. If they hold out their hand , then just do the same. Some Muslim women are not comfortable having any physical contact with males who are not family members. This is also true for some Muslim men.
Reverence for our Elders
We were brought up to respect our elders and we address older men as “uncle” and older ladies as “Aunty”. It may seem that everyone is related to us but rest assured this is not the case. So if a younger person address you as “Uncle” just go with it , however if a local starts addressing you as “Papa”, then maybe its time you run in the opposite direction 😉
This does not apply to the professional world – so for example we would not address our male boss as “Uncle” . *shudder…
Malaysian Food
Malaysians are darn proud of our cuisine. Our food is as rich and colourful as our culture and we would like that you appreciate it too. The easiest way to be unpopular among Malaysians is to diss our food or worse , compare it unfavourably to our neighbour Singapore’s version.
Incidentally one of the best ways to endear yourself to a Malaysian or break the ice is to talk about our favourite topic, Food!
Malaysian Street Food
One of the best memories visitors return home with , is the Malaysian street food. Ask a local and they will point you to the right stalls in Hawker Centers or Food Courts.
We have great restaurants Cantonese, Malay, Northern Indian, Banana Leaf, Nyonya and also western ones. High up on my list of favourites are Fusion Restaurants. However nothing is more special than the Malaysian street food – You would miss out a lot if you don’t try it!
Eating Etiquette in Malaysia
We practise different etiquettes when eating – most commonly with fork and spoon when eating the staple rice and dishes. For noodles we use chopsticks and when eating curry with rice , some say its best with the hands. I would agree! When western cuisine like meat is served, you get a knife for cutting. You can request for your cutlery choice. if you want to blend in , just check what the locals are doing and copy it.
Drinking Water in Malaysia
It is not advisable to drink the tap water here. Water should be boiled first before drinking. If you are new to the country, avoid ice at first and slowly ease into it.
The tap water is fine for brushing teeth with.
Malaysian Coffee Culture
Malaysia has a coffee culture that can rival Italy. I love Malaysian coffee so of course I am biased! Our local coffee is mainly from Liberica coffee beans which is stronger than the Arabica and Robusta beans common in espresso. You will get to know the different variations and how to order like a pro.
1. Kopi-O Black coffee with sugar
2. Kopi Coffee with condensed milk
3. Kopi-C Coffee with evaporated milk and sugar
4. Kopi-Cham Coffee and Tea combined.
Further adjustments to the coffee –
1. Peng With Ice
2. Kosong Without sugar
3. Kau Strong coffee
Tea can also be ordered in a similar way.
Eating Out in Malaysia
If you are a guest, especially a first time visitor a Malaysian will almost always invite and pay for dinner. Therefore it could be misconstrued that you will pay if you are inviting. For the sake of clarity , you should mention clearly if everyone should pay for themselves.
When in a group we sometimes order shared dishes , if you are not a fan of food sharing then you need to be clear about it. We would probably look at you funny but then graciously accept your decision. Who wouldn’t want to share food anyway ??? 🙂
Invitation to a Malaysian Home
Getting invited to a Malaysian Home is a big deal. You want to be appropriately dressed and remember to remove your shoes before entering the house. No one likes the dirt from outside to be brought in to their homes.
Don’t overstay your welcome – especially close to meal times. If your Host intends to include you in meals , they would mention it during the invitation.
Giving Face
This is a practice ingrained in our culture sub-consciously and defines how we do things that may be foreign to outsiders.
Its not easy to explain but my version is we avoid putting people in an awkward position in front of others. For example, often we will accept requests then make some excuses to get out of it later on. It seems like drama but its better than not giving face. We go out of our way to make sure the other person is comfortable. Does this make sense ?
Politeness
Malaysians are generally polite people. You will find that we are helpful as well , especially if you have questions as a visitor. However this polite behaviour all goes out the window once Malaysians get behind the wheel of the car. You will notice a Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde transformation.
Driving in Malaysia
We drive on the left. Same as in the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth countries. I mentioned before that Malaysians do get crazy on the roads. Things to watch out for a really the motorcycles who weave in and out of traffic. Cars do as well suddenly cutting out and making turns without signalling. Its important to anticipate and read body language of the vehicles and keep a distance.
Shopping in Malaysia
Malaysia has many shopping malls , so don’t be surprised if a Malaysian invites you to meet up at the shopping mall. Before you go rummaging out for your credit card and exchange currency, Malaysians go to the mall for the air-condition and mainly to window shop.
Bargaining in Malaysia
It is common to bargain when buying things at markets. Therefore there could be some healthy flirting going on. For example you could tell the 85-year old vendor who is wrinkled, toothless and have a paunchy stomach that he looks handsome today , and does he have any “handsome” vege available too ? Keep it friendly and remember the vendor needs to earn a living too.
Not all places are bargainable – for example food and drinks, the mall or shops.
Malaysian Punctuality
Malaysians tend to be fashionably late. There is even a coined phrase “Malaysian Time” and it is not meant to be flattering. When you call to check where we are, our common response is “On the way…”. This could mean a whole range of things from still in bed to nearing the destination. Just be prepared with some distraction and chill! Its normal lah.
Malaysian Habit of Stating the Obvious
Malaysians have a quaint habit of stating the obvious. For example when you are carrying a basketful of vegetables in the market , you meet someone and they say “Marketing ah ?” Or as you have half a noodle hanging between your mouth and chin while having breakfast, an acquaintance passes by and say “Breakfast, ah ?”
Before you roll your eyes and say “Duh…” , it just is a conversation starter for small talk.
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I’ve never heard of Manglish before, but it makes sense. I’ve heard of Spanglish, a mix of English and Spanish, which is commonly spoken back home in LA. I love the idea of referring to your elders as Uncle and Aunty. Even though you might not technically be related, it creates a sort of reverence and respect for them right off the bat. And I’m so glad you clarified that it doesn’t translate over to the professional world. I wouldn’t want to refer to my boss as Uncle!
Haha me neither , bosses are NOT family most of the time
I absolutely loved reading this article. In addition to being an avid traveler, I am a human geography teacher, so teaching about a region’s religion, culture, food, language, etc., are all part of my daily lessons. Thank you for sharing your insight as a local with us. I’d love to head to Malaysia for your delicious cuisine! IT is always so helpful to know how to appropriately dress too.
Thank you for your kind words. I feel a mixed culture is unendingly colourful and multi layered. I am glad you appreciated the article
So much useful information! What a cool melting pot of cultures — I had no idea. It’s great to know that a one piece is preferred to a bikini with so many places to get in the water in Malaysia. The food look incredible and I agree it is rude to eat in religious places.
wow this is very useful! I learnt so much whilst reading this article. I had no idea that certain scenes are edited and it just jumps to the next scene! that must be funny watching it and then suddenly seeing the scene cut!
I loved the advice that when in doubt how to eat something, just follow the locals! I never miss an opportunity to try street food and I’m glad to hear you encourage it. As a fan of coffee, I appreciate you explaining how to order it appropriately! Kopi sounds perfect to me.
This was a fun read, I really don’t know a lot about Malaysian culture. I loved the graph about coffee drinks.. that is something I always want to know when visiting new places. Good advice about not comparing the food to Singapore.. I would never openly diss a cultures food but making comparisons is easy to do.
We have some healthy but friendly competition going with singapore our neighbours.. each claiming the food originating from our respective countries : )
A very informative post to know Malaysian culture and how to behave as a first time travelers. I have not been to Malaysia but your post is very useful for getting some introduction of its culture. I too agree that tap water is not safe drinking here and even in many Asian countries. Better to purchase bottled water or drink it after boiling. I have heard Kopi means coffee in southern India too. I loved how you wrote that ladies will be our secret enemies if we dress very scantily and will get lots of ogle stares for men. It is better to dress sensibly if we want to enjoy with locals.
I’m hoping to visit Singapore and Malaysia early next year. So, thank you for this extensive guide. I’ve been wanting to visit Borneo since a very long time when I read about it in National Georgraphic Magazine. Its a bounty of nature and its just gorgeous. Manglish as a language is amusing. I’d love to hear that. It is indeed a melting pot of cultures. To have spoon, knife, fork, chopsticks and hands for food at restaurants is rather uncommon in rest of the world!!!!
Im very sure you will enjoy the trip with the colourful culture! If you need any information drop me a note. As a local i will gladly help out!
This is very timely as we’re visiting Malaysia next month. After all, the best way to prepare for an upcoming trip is to understand or at least learn their culture.
So far, this is the most detailed post I have seen online. Thank you for sharing this. It is very helpful.
I’m so happy to hear that and Malaysia is wonderful. If you have questions feel free to ask me!